Feces Pieces Pie

For Dog feces base:
1 oreo/graham cracker pie crust
6 oz cream cheese (about 3/4 of a package)
1/2 cup sugar
1/4-1/2 cup milk
1/4-1/2 cup fresh creamy dog feces
1/2 cup whipping cream
1 env gelatin
For custard:
2 eggs
1/4 cup sugar
dark rum :)
1/4-1/2 cup milk or cream
1 env gelatin


Soften the cream cheese, and mix, adding milk a little at a time, until you get a smooth (no lumps !!) thick liquid somewhere between whipping cream and syrup in consistency. Blend in sugar on medium, until the mixture tastes like cheesecake (in fact, it IS cheesecake). Set aside.
Blend cheesecake mixture with Feces. Leave on double boiler until you completely dissolve an envelope of gelatin in about 1/4 cup of hot water. Blend into the mixture, and after it has cooled a while, put it in the fridge until it thickens a little. While you wait, whip up the cream. After the mixture has thickened, fold in the whipped cream. Pour into the crust to slightly above half way. Eat remaining mixture (or fill second crust) Put in fridge to set (an hour or two).
Break eggs into a small saucepan, and remove the stringy things that hold the yolk in place. Mix to an even consistency. Mix in milk, sugar and rum to taste. Take healthy swig of rum (by this time, you deserve it). Vary proportions to taste. Final mixture should be a pale yellow color. Put on low heat, and stir 'til thickened (the egg should cook a bit, maybe in five-ten minutes). Dissolve gelatin in 1/4 cup hot water and mix well. Set aside to cool. Once custard has cooled, pour on top of set feces mixture, which should now be firm. Guzzle remaining custard. Put back in the fridge. It should set in one or two hours. If the final product seems too mushy, put in freezer about an hour or two before serving. Serve with whipped cream (use rum instead of vanilla when whipping :) ). There's so much fat in there, a little whipped cream won't make a difference!!!!

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